Ships and some more

For past few weeks, Relationships and Love have take a major share of discussions with my friends and acquaintances. Half of them are married for few years now, some of them are grappling with the new dimensions their married life is springing on them; some of them are into relationships, some have just come out of them, and the rare few are enjoying the bliss of solitude. I myself have been into several relationships, short and long, mutually consented sexual courtships, committed-ships, friendships - platonic, sexual, tantric, and an interesting combination of all three, and many other kinds of ships as well including the one that sails the oceans. Since i turned 15 'ships' with the opposite sex have always been a part of my life, which eventually evolved one of my philosophies for my life, "The company of women keeps me sane and civilised". Reflecting back on the years gone, I have discovered a set of hypotheses on relationships & Love, through my own and others' life experiences, which I am trying to present here. I have tried to explian love in economic terms trying to evolve an economic model for love. The idea is to provide insights & tactics on the dynamics of love based on my pwn perceptions. Like many other things in life, Love too is very subjective, hence beyond any debate. What’s right for me may be wrong for you and vice-versa. These are my own perceptions and anyone reading this post can certainly choose to differ. Moreover they are written with a dressing of humour, so don’t take it too seriously. Read it, ponder for a while and enjoy. However, do share your thoughts. It all adds to the learning curve.

Assumptions

1. People are rational decision makers and are able to add up the benefits and costs of being in love.
2. Commitment is an insignificant variable.
3. Friendship and companionship are the same.
4. People's perceptions are not influenced by underlying mental illnesses. Sex and commitment are the only differences between friendship and love. However, today people can have sex with strangers and friends, without being in love.

Core Variable

The Love Economic Model assumes people fall in love because the total benefit of being in love outweighs the total cost of being in love. So the probability of falling in love is related to your perception of the probability of net benefit resulting from being in love. Mathematically, the Model can be written as:

Probability of Love = Probability of (Net Benefit of Being in Love, Emotional Availability, Past Love Experiences)

Net Benefit = Total Benefit - Total Cost

Total Benefit = friendship + fulfillment of sexual needs

Friendship = fulfillment of (emotional needs + entertainment needs + materialistic needs - sexual needs)

Emotional needs = esteem needs + social needs + spiritual needs + safety needs

Materialistic Needs = primary needs + sexual needs + materialistic desires

Total Cost = cost of (search + rejection + research + maintenance + opportunity) + breakup risk

Search cost = your attractiveness + social networking skills + time cost + financial cost

Rejection cost = -(your self-esteem + frequency of past rejections)
Research cost = knowledge of self + diagnostic abilities + proximity

maintenance cost = emotional cost + time cost to fulfill emotional, entertainment, materialistic needs + financial cost to fulfill emotional, entertainment, materialistic needs

Breakup risk = risk of being dumped + your breakup cost

Commitment = future net benefit - future net benefit from another love + current breakup cost

Search Cost of Love
Finding your soul mate requires you to spend time, money, and energy to find him/her. The equation for search cost is,
Search cost = your attractiveness + social networking skills + search time cost + search financial cost

Past Love Experiences

Past experiences with love will influence how people view love. Those who grew up being loved will want to be loved. However, people who were in abusive relationships may associate the abuse with love, hindering them to love. Also, people who have had their hearts severely broken will less likely fall in love again.

Insights and Predictions
1. People who have experienced love will be lonelier than those who have not.
2. People who have been in love will devote more energy to be in love again.
3. People from good families would value marriage more than people from dysfunctional ones.
4. People in past abusive relationships may have problems falling in love.
5. Pursuing people who have little or no baggage is easier than pursuing those who have some.
6. Pursuing people who are always in a relationship is easier than pursuing loners.

Tactics to Influence past Relationship Experiences
1. If lover interest's or lover's future net benefit is great or you can not do any better, recommend him/her to get professional help to resolve his/her "issues".
2. Avoid falling in love with the wrong people by influencing the variables of the Model.

If you came from a dysfunctional family or bad relationships, resolve your "issues" by yourself or with professional help before falling in love again.

TO BE CONTINUED.....